George, There Is A Way For You To Be A Hero
by James Glaser
Politicians of every ilk are telling the nation and the President, that we need more troops and more money for Iraq. I would like to point out to the President that we are already spending $1,000,000,000.00, each and every week right now and things are going down the tubes.
If we want to send over more troops they will have to be National Guard or Reserve units because our active duty forces are pretty thin. On top of that we are trying to play hard ball with North Korea and spreading our troops even thinner is not going to put us in a position that we can push very hard.
We should also remember that we are going to need more troops real soon, just so we can start rotating the troops that are in Iraq now. When you are rotating troops you don't want to be in the position that you have to pull all your troops at one time, you always want veteran troops there that can show the new guys the ropes.
If we are thinking about getting some foreign troops in there we will have to go back to the United Nations and either President Bush or Colin Powell will have to ask nice like and tell the UN that we are in over our heads and would you guys please help us out. George you will need to sound sincere and you know that the representatives from France and Germany are going to have a hard time keeping big smiles off their faces.
Now we all know and President Bush knows that every country in the Middle East is sending every nut case they can into Iraq to do what ever they want to our troops. Just like Castro did when he emptied his prisons and asylums, every dictator or king in that area sees this as an excellent way to rid his country of people that get a little rowdy. I am sure that every one sent is given some money, maybe a weapon, and they are called freedom fighters.
So George, we don't have any more troops to send if we want to have replacements for the troops that are over there now. Unless we start burning it, spending more than a billion a week in Iraq will be hard, maybe you can just transfer large sums to your favorite corporations now and they can work in Iraq later when things calm down.
Or George, You could become a hero to every family that has a loved one in Iraq, become a hero to every one of those troops fighting there now, become a hero to every combat veteran from WW2 to Desert Storm. All you have to do George is claim VICTORY! Ring every church bell in America. Bring the troops home and have troop parades down 5th Ave. in New York. Spread out lots and lots of medals. And lie, tell everyone that that was the plan all along, hey, I'll buy it.
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