The Greatest Conspiracy Theory
Why the Junkies of the World Salute George Bush

by James Glaser
March 8, 2006

We all know about how George Bush's grandfather, Prescott Bush, worked to make money with the Nazis, and how it took an act of Congress to stop him a year after we had gone to war with Germany. (Doubt that?—Just google 'Bush Nazi' and start reading) But today I heard a far more interesting story about the Bush family, and this one is about Prescott's brother, George's great uncle, Mortimer. Mortimer was the first black sheep of the Bush family because he got addicted to heroin at an early age.

The story could have ended right there with Mortimer dying in some seedy hotel room back in the 40s, but Mortimer was Prescott's younger brother by a number of years, and rumor has it that he is still alive today. The story is that his money and influence is what got the first George Bush into the White House, and his money has kept him in the good graces of the whole family.

Mortimer has always played a back room role in his dealings, and with a constant supply of good heroin, he like many rich junkies has been able to live a normal albeit drug-addicted life.

Then something happened that made Mortimer Bush step out of the back room and make a call to his nephew George. At the time George was governor of Texas and was leading a nice life with the money his dad and uncle got for him on a baseball team buyout. Much to George's surprise Mortimer was telling him that he had to get off his duff and run for President of the United States, and not to worry, the fix was in.

George not being all that bright didn't ask any questions, and the rest is history.

That is, until today, and from what I have heard, Mortimer went on what for a junkie would be a real bender. Ninety nine percent of the people who shot up as much as Mortimer did last week would have died of an OD, but this guy has been a junkie for over fifty years, and he is what the word "tolerance" was created for. For once in his life Mortimer didn't keep quiet—he let out the real reason that George Bush was made president, because America had to attack Afghanistan.

For years Mortimer was shooting the best, most expensive smack in the world. He was one of the main reasons there was a French Connection, and there are stories about how he was the first Bush to work for the CIA, how he started the opium in the Golden Triangle during the Vietnam War, and the billions he made back then. Many say that Mortimer was the man who coined the name China White, for a strain of the Big H that was popular in American cities until late into the 1980s.

Like any business things change with time, and new products have to be developed, and that is where this story leads. For over a decade after the Vietnam War was over, Air America planes kept flying in the Far East bringing many products to this country, but prices were getting higher, and other buyers were cutting into the dwindling supplies.

Mortimer Bush had not lasted as long as he had by sitting back and jacking that needle into oblivion, he knew a new place to grow opium had to be found, and with the help of his connections in the Soviet Union, he picked Afghanistan as the field. It had everything—the right climate, the right government, and most of all dirt poor farmers who would grow anything if they could sell it.

Here is where nephew George comes into the story. A group of religious nut cases called the Taliban fought Mortimer's Soviet connection and threw them out of the country and neither promises of shared wealth, nor threats of an American invasion could sway the Taliban and their one eyed leader Mullah Omar from banning the growing of opium poppies.

When that happened, and Mortimer's supply of heroin dropped to only a personal stash, that call to Austin was made, and George W. Bush became the 43rd President of the United States.

March 7, 2006 Washington—Marine Corps General James Jones, NATO's supreme commander, said he didn't think Taliban and Al-Qaida remnants could "restart an insurgency of any size or major scope," but that they're part of a "wider span of problems" that includes the opium trade and rampant criminality.

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Some parts of this story are true, and others are just that—a story. We should all ask questions of what we read in the media and what comes out of Washington. Their stories are not as obvious, but many times just as bold.

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