Don't Worry, Be Happy. We Are Doing This and That.

by James Glaser
August 1, 2002

Here is a letter from George Bush to some one. It was sent to me so that maybe I would better understand all the pressure he is under and that I would let up on the guy a little. I must tell you that George W. Bush is a OK guy as far as I am concerned. The fact of the matter is George and I see things in a different light. The guy thinks that America can bomb its way out of any trouble and I believe that we only bomb ourselves into more trouble and in the end God will send all that kill for "Glory and Power" to hell. I don't want to go to hell, George must think that God will bless him for all the killing America does under his watch. I would say that we have a fundamental difference of opinion.

Part of George's Letter

Some people would call them "smoke screens," others would not be so kind and say we are shirking our responsibilities, but hey, is that nice now. We are all working just as hard as we can to not only make America secure, but we are doing other stuff too. We all know that other stuff we are doing is going to help some one, some place, maybe those rich people or yeah, just maybe those poor people. We don't know for sure yet, but you will be the first to know as soon as we do.

I gotta tell you I am getting pretty steamed. Those Republicans and Democrats are both bitching about something all the time and they both want answers. They think just because we put together that Patriot Act, the TIPS Program, and now this Homeland Security thing we should have all the answers. You guys know as much as we do. Sure we wrote those plans, but it was a rush job and who really remembers what we were thinking back then. It is enough that we got it to the printers and hey, you guys voted it into law. You should know what is what.

I am sick of this. Why should I have to be the fall guy, I am the President. Let me tell you that, this stuff is just exhausting. Did you guys know that they expect you to work every day! Screw you guys, I'm taking a month off. If you really need me I'll be in Texas, but don't call on weekends or at night cause I'll be doing a little fund raising. Gotta keep in touch you know.

Something else I want to say, being George Bush's son is no piece of cake either. When my oil company tanked, Daddy told me to go fishing, just knowing that than brother Jeb would be President some day, got to me and I had to find my own Billionaire to buy that worthless company. Heck we were down to two desks and one chair, but I got thousands for all of my know how. I showed Daddy and Jeb too. Now I am President and I sure am tired. Down in Texas we would say plumb tuckered out. I need a rest.

The War? Were you asking about MY WAR? I am Commander in Chief you know. That's what Presidents are and I am the President, so that makes me Commander in Chief. I sure showed those guys in that National Guard Unit who was real Officer material. Hey you can't get higher than Commander in Chief, like I would have maybe six stars if they had stars for the Commander in Chief.

People will tell you that I get tuckered out because I was born a rich good old boy and never learned what it was to work. Well look at Bill Clinton, He was a good old boy and he kept it up for eight years and still had the energy for extra sex. I is a good old "rich" boy and truth be told, I don't have the energy for anything. I got to have that rest, so I can take America to the very top.

All we need to do is get us that Saddam and then the whole world will be a safer place and we will have won my war. And let me tell you, when that Patriot Act and TIPS and This Homeland stuff is all in place, America will be so safe. Nobody will be able to do anything with out our say so. Americans will be so safe that, terrorists wouldn't try jack.

You people keep saying that those around me are just people that Daddy made me put in, but hey, I had to do that to get this job. There are always payoffs and that was the price for Florida, but I have been told that if I can get this second term on my own then I can pick a few of my own people.

You people think I like war? War is just a way to make money and everybody that I know is doing just that. You people really don't know how things work do you? Somebody gives you a state in the election and they expect something back. It is just dumb luck that those people make their money with war material. Al Gore's people made their money with pollution abatement equipment. Al would of had to have a War on Dirt and Air. We all make money with this War on Drugs, so that is in either way.

Nobody told me that this world has all of these time zones, I was always on Tulsa Time and that is good enough for Texas. Now I have people calling me from all over the world and did you know that when it is dark here it is light some place else and those people in the light want to talk to me in the dark. That is what tires me out so much. Maybe they don't know about this light/dark thing, I bet that would be a good job for Powell or I could have Ashcroft change the rules about late night calls. The world would be a much safer place if everyone was on American Time.

I want you to get ready for the parade. Right after we win this war on terrorism and take over their country we will have this big parade and I am going to have a real cool Commander in Chief uniform. George Washington had a cool uniform and got to ride in that boat right here in Washington and then he threw that dollar to those that rowed. I want the parade to be on like September 11. Not this year, cause we don't have all the stuff done like TIPS and Homeland Security. Every one knows that you can't have a safe parade without lots and lots of security

Daddy told me to make America safe and that is what I am doing, but now I am tired and have to take that vacation and maybe by the time I get back we will have this time thing fixed.

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