by James Glaser
February 28, 2005

Now a days you could say the same about a woman's war. All these years later, you would think I would be able to store the war in the back of my head and I do try to do that, but on some days it comes out to the front and nothing I have been able to learn to do will get it back to a safe place.

I don't know what triggers it coming, maybe it is the way the sun was today or some song I heard on the radio. Heck, maybe it is always out front and I am just able to keep busy enough to cover those thoughts with daily routines.

I know I'm not the only one thinking about Vietnam tonight here in Minnesota. This week three men from here were killed in Iraq. There was Staff Sergeant David Day, 1st Lt. Jason Timmerman, and Sergeant Jesse Lhotka. All were National Guardsmen with the 151st Field Artillery.

When people get killed in a war and you hear about it, all those people you knew who were killed in your war come rushing to the front of your thoughts, almost like they are saying, "don't you forget about me." You never can forget about them, war becomes this life long sentence and you are forced to relive parts of it until the day you die.

I guess I could have gone over to someone's house and talked to get my mind off subject, but it would all be back when I got home. It is almost like the war wants its time with you and if you give it, it will let you alone, for a little while.

I have watched as people tried to drink it away with alcohol or even tried to shoot it down with smack. Most of them learned that dieing was an easier way to get away from it. The booze and the heroin were a shield to hide behind, but after a while it would creep right in no matter how wasted they got.

Those people in Washington who send us off to war have no idea of what they are inflicting on us. They always give away those pretty medals with their colorful ribbons and think those medals will somehow make your time in combat seem worthwhile. Some of my medals are on this little shelf above my head. I have never worn them in public, I never worn them in private either. I don't know why I keep them.

Now if I am going to get through this night, I will have to give him his due. "Him," is the Marine with no name who was killed on the line up in Dong Ha. I don't know how it happened so fast, but he and I became like good friends the first time we met. I was walking down this road in the base and a rocket attack started and I dove in one side of a bunker and he dove in from the other. There was water in the bottom and we were both in mud. It was dark in there and we kind of felt around and found a high and dry spot to sit in.

I don't really know if it was rockets, artillery, or mortars, but they were hitting very close to us and we could feel the ground shake and stuff would fall from the ceiling and I know we were both scared.

I was smoking Salem cigarettes then, and it was one right after another. You know I haven't smoked in years, but if I had one right now I would be puffing away.

I had no idea of who I was in this bunker with. I figured he had to be a Marine as he could swear just as good as I could. Sometimes when you are really really scared, swearing and praying both help.

Well, one time when I was lighting another cigarette, he asked if I wanted to see a picture of his new daughter and I said, "for sure." I look at that picture of his wife and baby with the light from my Zippo lighter and they were both beautiful. I could see that he had tears in his eyes, but Marines never say anything about stuff like that. He was a Lance Corporal and he told me that he was going to Hawaii on R&R to see them both in two weeks.

I don't know how long we were in that bunker or why the two of us hit it off, but we did. For a couple of days we ate c-rations together and just talked about life.

Five days after we both jumped into that bunker at the same time, he was dead. I didn't see him die, but I did help carry him down to the Corpsman. He was dead, there was no doubt. For some strange reason, I took one of his Lance Corporal insignias off his collar. It was kind of bent and filled with died blood or something. I kept it in my pocket for many years and now it sits on the shelf above me, like I need a reminder.

I have no idea of why he died and I lived. I still have no idea of why we were in Vietnam, other that we were making some Americans very very rich. I know now that he didn't die defending America, just like I know those three Guardsman from Minnesota were not defending us either.

That defending America crap is something Washington foists on to the loved ones of those killed to make them feel better. It is kind of like those medals they give out. They give you them so that you feel better about going to war and so that young kids can dream about winning their own medals, but when it is all said and done, you know you have been had.

Nobody in Vietnam was about to get in a boat or a plane and come over here and kill Americans and there were no Iraqi plans to do that either. We are a country of 300 million people and we can't take over Iraq, so just who do you think is going to come over here and try to take over our country?

The only people we have trying to take over America right now are George Bush and his crowd and they are doing that by subverting our Constitution.

If you think about it, China doesn't have enough soldiers to hold our country. Do you realize that there were something like 5 millions firearms sold in the United States last year. Our country is armed to the teeth and nobody is going to take us over.

But Washington keeps finding places for us to "defend" our soil from, and we keep using billions of dollars worth of bombs and bullets. We always need more equipment and more uniforms and yes, somebody is making big money off all of those shiny medals they hand out.

And every night and every day, there are an untold number of veterans who are spending some part of their life reliving their war, thinking about what a waste it all was, and feeling sick, because they see it happening all over again to a new group of young Americans who have bought into Washington's scam.